Date nights are a must. No questions asked.
But for real, sometimes they feel impossible.
I don't know about you but Kenny and I we literally jumped into life together && it's never slowed down. We got together, engaged, bought a house, got married & had 3 babies back to back to back. Yes, for those of you asking... They were planned that way & I indeed do know what makes them.
But regardless its pure total, utter chaos. You have no idea how to parent or add people to a home. You literally just learn to manage. People ask me all the time how do you do it? I can honestly say its 100% survival mode, and too often couple push away from each other instead of join forces.
We forget that we were once just us and in 18 short years, it will be just us again.
We love these babies & they need us and we didn't set boundaries before they got here because how the hell are you supposed to know what to expect? And if we are being honest no two kids are the same. Life happens. You both start fighting your own battles to keep your family in check. He works, sacrifices time and energy to provide. Mom you're busy begin the errand girl. The cooker, cleaner, chauffeur. The backbone of the family making sure everyone is in check.
You don't want to ask for help for fear of feeling inadequate. You don't want to break down because you might seem needy or ungrateful. At the end of the day, your both exhausted with nothing to give to one another.
We wear busy as a badge of honor. If you do enough for the world around you, then everything will workout, right?
Wronggggg. If you want to elevate your marriage it means you have to add energy and love to it.
Its like a plant, if you put it in the closet, only loving it once a year it wont live. You must shower it with love, nourish it, feed it, give back to it so it can grow.
You didn't win each others affection by ignoring one another. In order to become a couple it took time, energy and intentional love. If we are being honest, the relationship after marriage should be catered to MORE than when you're dating.
Where the hell do you even start though?
You have no time.
No money.
The last thing you want to do is work more.
But I'm here to tell you, when you give to your spouse, not only will it help you feel better but you will create a new loving energy and bring that to your everyday life.
First step, pick a day!
Any day of the week, any time of the day. Whatever works for you, your significant other and your schedule.
I know what you're thinking, but we have kids, we don't have a sitter, our schedule is always different. I don't care. Either you are going to make it happen or you'll have a million excuses, the choice is yours. I personally want you to thrive. So try it!
No sitter; date nights after bedtime.
This was an exhausting decision. We get up early, we go to bed at 8 as soon as the kids are tucked it. But it was the only time that would work for us. Staying up an hour to two hours later just being intentional with each other makes you sleep better at night. Your heart is happier. &&& most of the time, wellll you know, it ends well. Which relieves stress, gives to those physical touch love languages and makes you feel good, wanted, appreciated.
Maybe your schedule is chaos & always changing?
I would do a weekly evaluation. Every Sunday I ask my husband, "what do we have going on this week? What night works best for date night?" From there we can see where we can fit it and we PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR. We treat it as a business meeting. If you're scheduled for work, you don't just skip. Treat this as if its your job. A new schedule every week if that's what you need.
You have no money.
Girl, same. This was discouraging. But love doesn't cost a thing! Just make a nice dinner & have a fun plan for after. When I did this, my husband was freaking pumped. Literally like a kid at Christmas. He was excited that I had gone out of my way to plan something for him. Keep it simple. A movie you have never seen, a board game, cards, planning a vacation. Really anything. I'll be sharing TONS of date night ideas in the weeks to come, so stay tuned!
The reality of it is, you just have to make it a priority. If you sit around waiting for everything to fall into place it never will. You'll always find something more important. And I've got to ask you, is there anything more important than your significant other?
I'm curious, when was your last date night? Please, drop it in the comments!
I encourage you to set a day this upcoming week for a date night & share here for your own accountability.
& for more tips, upcoming date night ideas and so much more, please, subscribe.
But for real, sometimes they feel impossible.
I don't know about you but Kenny and I we literally jumped into life together && it's never slowed down. We got together, engaged, bought a house, got married & had 3 babies back to back to back. Yes, for those of you asking... They were planned that way & I indeed do know what makes them.
But regardless its pure total, utter chaos. You have no idea how to parent or add people to a home. You literally just learn to manage. People ask me all the time how do you do it? I can honestly say its 100% survival mode, and too often couple push away from each other instead of join forces.We forget that we were once just us and in 18 short years, it will be just us again.
We love these babies & they need us and we didn't set boundaries before they got here because how the hell are you supposed to know what to expect? And if we are being honest no two kids are the same. Life happens. You both start fighting your own battles to keep your family in check. He works, sacrifices time and energy to provide. Mom you're busy begin the errand girl. The cooker, cleaner, chauffeur. The backbone of the family making sure everyone is in check.
You don't want to ask for help for fear of feeling inadequate. You don't want to break down because you might seem needy or ungrateful. At the end of the day, your both exhausted with nothing to give to one another.
We wear busy as a badge of honor. If you do enough for the world around you, then everything will workout, right?
Wronggggg. If you want to elevate your marriage it means you have to add energy and love to it.
Its like a plant, if you put it in the closet, only loving it once a year it wont live. You must shower it with love, nourish it, feed it, give back to it so it can grow.
You didn't win each others affection by ignoring one another. In order to become a couple it took time, energy and intentional love. If we are being honest, the relationship after marriage should be catered to MORE than when you're dating.
You have no time.
No money.
The last thing you want to do is work more.
But I'm here to tell you, when you give to your spouse, not only will it help you feel better but you will create a new loving energy and bring that to your everyday life.
First step, pick a day!
Any day of the week, any time of the day. Whatever works for you, your significant other and your schedule.
I know what you're thinking, but we have kids, we don't have a sitter, our schedule is always different. I don't care. Either you are going to make it happen or you'll have a million excuses, the choice is yours. I personally want you to thrive. So try it!
No sitter; date nights after bedtime.
This was an exhausting decision. We get up early, we go to bed at 8 as soon as the kids are tucked it. But it was the only time that would work for us. Staying up an hour to two hours later just being intentional with each other makes you sleep better at night. Your heart is happier. &&& most of the time, wellll you know, it ends well. Which relieves stress, gives to those physical touch love languages and makes you feel good, wanted, appreciated.
Maybe your schedule is chaos & always changing?
I would do a weekly evaluation. Every Sunday I ask my husband, "what do we have going on this week? What night works best for date night?" From there we can see where we can fit it and we PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR. We treat it as a business meeting. If you're scheduled for work, you don't just skip. Treat this as if its your job. A new schedule every week if that's what you need.
You have no money.
Girl, same. This was discouraging. But love doesn't cost a thing! Just make a nice dinner & have a fun plan for after. When I did this, my husband was freaking pumped. Literally like a kid at Christmas. He was excited that I had gone out of my way to plan something for him. Keep it simple. A movie you have never seen, a board game, cards, planning a vacation. Really anything. I'll be sharing TONS of date night ideas in the weeks to come, so stay tuned!
The reality of it is, you just have to make it a priority. If you sit around waiting for everything to fall into place it never will. You'll always find something more important. And I've got to ask you, is there anything more important than your significant other?
I'm curious, when was your last date night? Please, drop it in the comments!
I encourage you to set a day this upcoming week for a date night & share here for your own accountability.
& for more tips, upcoming date night ideas and so much more, please, subscribe.
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